| Written By Author, from The Coast News (Grover Beach, CA), March 2006 -- Used With Permission |
[Dec. 29th, 2008|09:03 pm] |
The conflict in Iraq: three years later, families paying the toll
The past week marked the third anniversary of military forces from the United States and other allied nations invading Iraq, in order to disarm the nation of suspected Weapons of Mass Destruction. Though combat operations were declared over by May 1, 2003, soldiers from over 17 nations remain as a peacekeeping force in the desert nation.
For families across the United States, the anniversary marks the third year that their loved ones are in harm’s way every day.
“Everyday, I have concern for my son,” said Pastor Lloyd Francis, whose son currently serves with the Army’s 101st Airborne in Iraq. “There isn’t a day when I don’t pray for his safety, and hope that he comes back the same as when he left.”
Caitlin Arias’ husband, Kevin, is currently serving with a Marine Corps detachment currently deployed in Iraq. “The hardest part is not knowing when he will come back,” she said. “The bigger challenge is not letting ‘if’ creep into that statement.”
Lance Corporal Ricky Zeller, originally from Grover Beach, returned recently from a tour of duty in Iraq with the Marine Corps. “Adjusting back to life back in the states was difficult,” he said. “Over there, talking about being shot at was like you were going to the store…out there, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.”
Though they all come from different walks of life, each of them has a common bond through the conflict in the Middle East. They are bonds that they would much rather share during different times.
A Parent’s Son: Pastor Lloyd and Norma Francis
In front of the house where Army Corporal Jonathan Francis grew up flies a black flag, adorned by the insignia of the 101st Airborne Division, known more commonly as the “Screamin’ Eagles.” Next door, at the Living Waters Assembly of God Church in Grover Beach, Air Force Veteran Lloyd Francis is reminded of his own sacrifices, as well as his son’s.
His office is decorated with pictures and mementos of his 20 years of service to the United States, including American Flags and insignia of where he’s served and under what pretense. What stands out most is a picture of a young man in combat gear, looking out across a desert.
“Our family has quite a military history,” he explains. “I have two son-in-laws; one is in the Air Force and one is in the Army, a daughter in the Navy Reserve, and two sons; one in the Air Force, and one in the Army.”
“Everyone in the family has had something to do with the military,” Lloyd said.
His 22-year-old son Jonathan is the latest chapter to that history. “He joined out of pride of family,” explains his father. “He wanted to be a part of that heritage.”
Jonathan enlisted in January of 2005, signing to the Army for a three-year tour of duty. He was first deployed to Iraq in September of that year, as part of the 101st infantry.
“When he first told us he was enlisting into the Air Force, I asked, ‘why don’t you join the Air Force? There’s less chance of direct contact there,’” Lloyd said. “He wanted to be in the Army, after his grandfather.”
Jonathan’s mother, Norma, continues on that thought. “My initial thought was that I was really happy for him,” she said. “He wanted to turn his life around, and do something with his life…since he’s joined, the military has really turned him around.”
Regardless of the branch, Lloyd stressed the pride that he had for his son’s decision. “We have always had a positive attitude towards his work as a soldier.”
“As a mother, it is hard for me to think about all the things that are going on,” Norma said. “You always think about what could be next…I can’t believe all the things that he sees…all the unhappiness that surrounds him.”
The veteran Lloyd agrees. “With the military, you never know what will happen.”
For the Francis family, their strength from day to day is reinforced by their faith. “Jonathan called last week, telling us how his friend got killed,” Lloyd said. “When we were with him, on the phone, we have to stay strong, and never break up.”
“When we are off the phone,” he said, “I go off to a closet, to pray for his safety.”
“I honestly believe that God has protected him from being killed so many times,” Norma said. “And I continue to pray that he continues towards his life’s goal.”
“We are always afraid of the phone call, or a uniformed soldier coming to our door,” Lloyd said.
As for their opinions on the war, Lloyd and Norma have different views in their opinions of the conflict.
“As a mother, I feel that we have done our part,” said an emotional Norma. “Our soldiers are unhappy here…they need to pull out, and bring our children home.”
Lloyd views the conflict in a different light. “I believe we are doing the right thing,” he said, after taking a moment to contemplate. “We don’t understand the war on terror right now…we’re facing an enemy that is truly unknown to us. But, as a nation, I believe we have to finish out this course.”
Regardless of their views, the pride they share in their son is unwavering. “Today…I can’t believe that he is the same man,” Lloyd said. “He wanted to be a success in this life, and he felt that the military was the way to go. I’m very proud of all my children and sons-in-law for their service to our country.”
A Mother’s Husband: Caitlin Arias
Seven-month old Aiden Arias is too young to fathom the danger that his father is in every day. While he enjoys the sound sleep of a toddler, his mother, Caitlin, holds back the emotions that rush to mind when her husband is mentioned.
“I spent a week at our house on the Marine Corps Base after he left,” she said. “It was easily the most difficult time I ever had.”
Her husband, Kevin Arias, was deployed into Iraq just over a month ago, after being transferred to a different unit. While he is a world away, Caitlin has moved back to be with her family in Arroyo Grande.
This is their first deployment together. They are both prepared for him to spend over a year in Iraq.
“When we first found out that he would be deployed, we were bitter about everything,” she said. “We were told that he was not fit to be deployed, and was able to opt out during the first time they tried to deploy him. Then he got switched, and all of a sudden, he was going.”
“For a while, it was like a really bad dream,” she said about the process.
At home, surrounded by her family, Caitlin receives a lot of support from her family. Pictures and other items surround her, reminding both her and her young son that he is certainly not forgotten.
“The hardest part is watching everything that our son is doing, and knowing that he is missing it,” she said. “He just got his first tooth yesterday, and he is missing it.”
While no official date has been set for Kevin’s return, rumors suggest that he may be home before the end of the year. “The Marine Corps keeps it as nebulous as possible,” she said. “They give you a range of within a month, then they bring it down to the week, and before the week range comes into focus, they give you the exact date and time…its not as taxing as one would think.”
The most taxing part was watching him leave for his assignment overseas.
“When I watched him leave, he stuck his head out the window, and looked back at me until I couldn’t see him anymore,” she recalls. “My first emotion was ‘what if this is the last time I see him?’”
“You just have to force out those thoughts,” she said. “You can’t let the ‘what if’s’ get to you.”
In the meantime, Caitlin keeps in touch with her husband with the help of a website, motomail.us. “You put in the exact mailing address to send things to them at, and it gets to them within a day or two,” she explains. “It’s a lot quicker than regular mail, which takes a couple weeks to get over there…and its more reliable than e-mail, because the internet café’s back there are usually backed up, so it gets to them quicker overall.”
As for strength, Caitlin finds comfort in her young son. “I keep busy, and go about my everyday business as best as I can,” she said. “Everything I do right now is for Aidan…I write Kevin, and tell him about everything that Aidan is doing and remind him of how well he is doing.”
“Its difficult having him be away,” Caitlin said about her husband. “But when he does come back, we’re going to have a big party for his return…I’m looking forward to seeing him again…to holding him again, and watching him play with our son again.”
A Soldier’s Sacrifice: Lance Cpl. Ricky Zeller
From a small apartment that he shares with his fiancée in Southern California, Marine Corps Lance Corporal Ricky Zeller recounts the time that he has spent overseas.
“I never really thought about it when I was there,” he said about his time in Iraq. “We had a lot of rough spots over there, but the experience was overall amazing.”
Zeller, who calls Grover Beach his original hometown, enlisted in the Marine Corps on Independence Day 2002. His tour in Iraq began in January of 2003. This year marks his third year as a Marine.
“I knew that I would end up over there,” he said about his service. “I figured that I just as much of a chance of something happening over there as getting in a bad car accident on the freeway…I couldn’t let anything hold me back.”
Ricky served as a cover squadron to infantry units in the area, during some of the heaviest fighting in the conflict. He was returned to California in March of 2005.
“When I first told my family that I was enlisting, they were hesitant, as any family would be during wartime,” he said. “But they were very supportive of my decision.”
The Zeller family has a rich history of military service, including his father and grandfather spending time in the Navy. For Ricky, going abroad to serve the nation just seemed like the right thing to do.
“Being over there changed the way my processes worked,” he explained. “After being out there, you see things in a different perspective. Everything becomes a lot more controlled.”
While communication with his family wasn’t a huge problem, the hardest part of being overseas, according to Ricky, was filtering what information to give.
“My family asked a lot of questions about what I was doing over there,” he said. “My mom would ask me what it was like over there…all I could tell her was ‘You don’t want to know.’”
Throughout the trials, the most rewarding experiences came for him in Iraq. “We were out during the elections,” he explained about his service. “My friend was guarding one of the polling places, and Iraqi citizens were dodging bullets and everything to come out and vote. One of them came up to one of my friends, looked him square in the eye, and said ‘thank you.’”
“It was very cool knowing that I was there for that,” he said.
For Ricky, the biggest challenge came when he came back from being overseas.“The culture shock coming back from Iraq was probably harder than being over there in the first place,” He said about his time overseas. “ When you go out there, you don’t know what to expect…and you have 350 other guys who are in the exact same situation as yourself.”
“When you come back, it takes a while to get out of those habits,” Ricky continued. “It took me two weeks to get used to walking around without my sidearm or rifle…it was a scary feeling to get used to again. Getting back to who I was turned out to be a huge challenge.”
In returning home, Ricky returned a man changed by the events in his life. “When I was out there, I didn’t think so much that I wouldn’t return home,” he said. “In looking back, I can look back and see how lucky I am.”
“When I was out there, I’d watch a rocket fly over my head and not really think about it,” he said. “Now that I look back on it…its like ‘Good God, I lived to tell the story’…and that’s when you realize what’s happened.”
For Ricky, the Marine Corps are something he will continue to pursue. “I’ve really had a good experience in the Corps,” he said. “I still have a lot of goals that I want to achieve…and I know that I can get them done here.”
A Community of Pride
Though each of the families come from a different walk of life, and approach the war with a different view, they find themselves united in pride for their loved ones who are or have served overseas.
“We remain very proud and excited for our son,” Lloyd said. “It’s very scary to have him out there, but our feelings about him being in the Army, and the respect for his decision remain the same.”
Caitlin Arias echoes those feelings of pride. “I was told that he might go up in rank this month,” she said with a smile. “I know how much that means to him, because he did so much extra work to get up to that next rank.”
“He’s going up a lot sooner than we expected,” she said. “I can’t tell you how proud I am of him.”
For Ricky Zeller, the pride runs deeper, serving in active duty. “People tell us that they feel bad for us; how we have the worst job,” he said. “To tell you the truth, there’s not a Marine that would want it any other way. This is what we want to do.”
“Not many [young people] understand love of country the way a soldier understands it,” said Lloyd. “Only a soldier can truly know what that means.” |
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